WASHINGTON– During a recent speech Joe Biden bragged that he had capped low insulin prices that Donald Trump had already done in May of 2020, with the current president going on to say that he was also a billionaire businessman married to a woman named Melania and who starred in various movies and television shows.
While wearing a blonde wig, Biden told a crowd of White House news reporters that he was the real Trump long before Trump had stolen his Trump persona.
“I’m the real Trump, I know it, you know it, and everyone else knows it,” said Biden in his best New York Trump accent. “I don’t know who that other blonde-haired fraud Trump guy is, but I’m the real Trump. I’m the one who capped insulin prices, Jack, and I’m the one who built the border wall, starred on The Apprentice and Home Alone, and have two sons named Eric and Don Jr., and I’m married to a gorgeous woman named Melania, not some ugly old hag named Jill Biden.”
Biden went on to list all his other accomplishments that Trump has tried taking credit for, such as opening numerous casinos and golf resorts around the world, and said that all this is true because the leftwing news media outlets have said so.
“That’s all the proof you need, you stupid bastards,” said Biden in reference to trusting what the mainstream media says. “CNN and MSNBC said that it’s true that I’m the guy responsible for capping those drug insulin prices, Jack, and we all know the media’s not biased toward Democrats. I’m telling the truth or my name’s not Donald J. Trump.”
Biden also claimed he was the one responsible for defeating the Nazis in World War 2, and also took credit for being the first man to launch into space and walk on the moon.