BRASÍLIA, BRAZIL– After flexing his authoritarian muscles and getting accused by millions of people of being a dictator, Brazilian Judge Alexandre de Moraes tried lightening up his image and appearing less intimidating by wearing a large black Darth Vader mask and Sith lightsaber to go along with his already strange movie villain black cape and evil persona.
Alexandre de Moraes has been making headlines this week for threatening Twitter X owner Elon Musk due to the SpaceX CEO’s stance on not suppressing free speech for the citizens of Brazil.
“Hello, everyone, it is just me, your favorite Judge Alexandre de Moraes,” said Moraes from behind the Star Wars helmet while slicing people in half with his lightsaber. “I don’t understand why my subjects would think that I’m a heartless dictator, just because I want to be your absolute ruler who controls everything you do and also threatens you with imprisonment or death if you disobey my very sensible demands.”
According to an online Twitter X poll, Moraes did in fact appear a little less threatening while wearing the mask, with respondents claiming the Brazilian judge’s face was indeed even more grotesque.
Realizing that he still wasn’t friendly looking enough, Moraes dressed up as burnt serial killer Freddy Krueger and then began murdering Brazilians in their sleep.
