OTTAWA, CANADA– With the housing crisis in Canada reaching epic proportions, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau informed the millions of suffering Canadian citizens that the best way they can save money on the rising cost of living under his leadership is to become homeless.
Trudeau gave a very energetic press conference this morning to tell Canadians who can’t afford their homes or pay rent anymore that help is on the way in the form of another tax that’s guaranteed to force people to have to live on the street.
“Great news, Canadians,” said Trudeau giddily after wiping off some white residue from his upper lip. “I hear all of your delicious cries for help to be able to pay your exorbitant bills that I helped to create. But don’t worry, once you’re homeless you won’t have to worry about how you’re going to pay for your homes. In addition to my new carbon tax, I have also implemented a new oxygen tax that taxes the amount of air everyone breathes.”
The prime minister claims that not everyone breathes in the same amount of oxygen, so specific groups of people will have to pay more money once his oxygen tax comes into fruition.
“Of course, straight White Canadians steal the most oxygen from our minority citizens,” said Trudeau with a straight face. “So to combat the rampant racism among our White Canadians, I will also be creating a new White tax that hopefully brings more equity to Canada’s marginalized, transgender illegal immigrants.”
Trudeau reiterated that the new oxygen tax will not apply to him, being that he’s a hypocrite and doesn’t abide by his own dictatorial rules.
