WASHINGTON– As soon as new House Speaker Mike Johnson released the infamous January 6 Capitol riot tapes, internet sleuths began combing through the hours of video looking for clues only to end up possibly locating the elusive Bigfoot inside of the Capitol Building.
Although only appearing for a few seconds, the large, ugly, hairy Sasquatch can be seen intermingled among the crowd of people before disappearing inside former House Speaker Nancy Pelosi’s office.
“I couldn’t believe my eyes,” said the amateur detective who discovered Bigfoot on the January 6 tape. “I replayed the video repeatedly to make sure I wasn’t imagining it. When I zoomed in on Bigfoot’s face to get a better glimpse of the beast I was frightened beyond belief at how hideous-looking the creature was.”
Not only has the released January 6 footage excited supporters of Donald Trump, but the earthshattering discovery of a possible Bigfoot sighting also piqued the curiosity of Bigfoot researchers.
“After reviewing more of the January 6 tapes we found additional footage of the supposed Sasquatch,” said head Bigfoot researcher Hans Gruber. “Another camera angle showed the disgusting monster rummaging though what appears to be a liquor cabinet inside Nancy Pelosi’s office before grabbing a bottle of Vodka and drinking the entire thing.”
Witnesses who were at the Capitol Building on January 6 claim that they overheard the Bigfoot creature talking to itself with slurred speech about how it was going to blame the entire insurrection debacle on President Trump.
That creature’s much uglier and scarier than Bigfoot.
That Bigfoot should remain hidden.