MUMBAI, INDIA– A famous Bollywood actress is in hot water with the strict Indian Hindu community after overcooking a hamburger, causing millions of Kosher Hindus to boycott the actress’s films, commercials, clothing line, and website that sells bindis for pets.
According to the Hindu Gazette based in New Delhi, 35 year old Imaho Dhupia was caught by paparazzi on camera in the backyard of her $1,043.87 (US) mansion overcooking a hamburger on a grill in celebration of a promotion she had recently received as a backup dancer in the last line of a 450 person dance group.
“This is an outrage,” said 53 year old Aayush Advick, head of the Hindus Against Bollywood Actresses Who Overcook Hamburgers Organization. “Miss Dhupia has caused not only great distress in our tight-knit Hindu community, but also much disrespect to the proper way of cooking a hamburger.
“Overcooking the meat is a sign of disrespect,” he added, chewing on a stick of beef jerky. “After a cow is slaughtered, the meat is shipped by rickshaw through 300 miles of 130 degree weather to our main meat packing plant. There it is stored under room temperature until it is once again shipped by rickshaw another 300 miles back to the slaughterhouse. Once it hits a consumer’s hands, it’s an absolute requirement that the meat cook for no longer than 30 seconds to retain its dignity.”
A statement put out by Dhupia’s publicist said that the video taken by the paparazzi couldn’t have been the beautiful actress because at the time she was in Pakistan killing a herd of cows for a upcoming movie titled Amma Ki Chut.
“That wasn’t Miss Dhupia,” the statement explained. “She would never do anything to disrespect the integrity, respect, and admiration of her fans. She also wants everyone to know that the cows killed for her upcoming movie were killed in the most humane way by making certain that the cows were cooked under the sun for no longer than 30 seconds.”
Look for Amma Ki Chut to open in every theater across North and South America, Europe, Africa and Asia, except for India.
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