BOCA CHICA BEACH, TEXAS– Musician and Hollywood actor Jared Leto has made history once again after strapping himself to the outside of Elon Musk’s SpaceX rocket as it blasted off into space, making him the first person ever to perform such a feat for some reason.
Once the rocket crashed back down onto earth, Leto gave an interview with a few dolphins as he floated on top of the water and enjoyed the best invigorating thrill ride of his life.
“Yeah, man, it was kind of, like, not really as scary as I had hoped,” said Leto in reference to riding a 20,827 mph rocket like a bull. “I just need that rush, man, and unfortunately hanging off Elon Musk’s rocket as it blasted off to dreamland was kind of a disappointment.”
Just recently Leto had made history as the first man to legally climb up to the top of the Empire State Building with his eyes closed while hand-sewing a new sweater for his next exhilarating feat.
“People say I must be crazy for doing this stuff, and I kind of have to agree,” admitted Leto as he rode on top of two dolphins that carried him back ashore. “I think for my next feat I might go for the ultimate thrill ride, man, and get married. I don’t know if I’m ready to get that crazy yet, so maybe I’ll just start off slow and let a shark eat me while I’m handcuffed and then try to break out of it like I’m that Harry Houdini guy.”
He’d probably do it.
I’ve already straddled it with Ashley.