WASHINGTON– Republicans in Congress are done playing games and have had it with the Democrats unjust treatment of Donald Trump, responding to the indictment of the former president with the angriest, toughest, sternest letter that they have ever written in their careers.
House Speaker Kevin McCarthy and Rep. Jim Jordan took an hour break from their vacations to give an emergency press conference regarding the Trump indictment and also unveiled the stern letter that one of their aides typed up with a few Republicans stamping their names at the bottom of it.
“That’s it, I’m done playing games,” said Kevin McCarthy angrily as he shook his finger at the camera to signify he was kind of upset. “I’ve finally hit my boiling point with the Democrats indicting Trump once again. This was the last straw. I’m putting them on notice with this letter that if they indict Trump again then my next letter is going to be even sterner and have a few more exclamation points.”
Representative Jim Jordan pinched his leg to help squeak out a tear before speaking at the podium, telling news reporters that the Democrats don’t want to mess with a guy who wrestled in high school because his fingers are really strong and won’t ever get tired of writing those stern letters.
“Are you Democrats getting tired of these angry letters yet?” Jim Jordan asked with a scowl as he pounded his fist against the podium. “If the Democrats keep throwing Conservatives in prison then I’ll keep writing these really stern letters to show them that Republicans mean business. I even posted a copy of this stern letter on my Twitter account. Or is it X? Whatever, I’m so mad right now I might have to cut tomorrow’s beach trip short by about five minutes.”
After Biden had one of Trump’s codefendants executed on live TV, House Republicans sent the president a threatening letter stating that the line in the sand has been drawn and if the president kills another Conservative then they’ll be left with no choice but to sign their names really hard into the next letter to show their exasperation.
