SAN FRANCISCO, CALIFORNIA– After Joe Biden said he was going to investigate Twitter’s relationship with other countries, the social media company’s owner Elon Musk outwitted the president with his own 4D chess move by rebranding the company to “X.”
While giving a speech Tuesday saying Twitter was a threat to democracy and it would lead the world into World War 3 by exposing all of his crimes, Biden was informed by one of his aides that the company Twitter doesn’t exist and that he was chasing a ghost.
“Elon Musk‘s Twitter relationship with other countries is worth looking into,” said Biden right before he was told that Twitter didn’t even exist. “Wait a minute, Jack. I know I just saw that Twitter thing just yesterday with that little rabbit, um, no, blue bird guy on it when Hunter was on there flirting with some hot, young dame and he let me sniff her hair through his phone.”
Biden had one of his much younger 67-year-old assistants search for Twitter on his phone to prove to the world that he wasn’t just a crazy, senile, old pervert who planned on getting revenge on Musk for making the social media company more free speech.
“Go ahead, Jack, I know I saw that Twitter thing yesterday on Hunter’s old rotary phone,” said Biden as his aide pretended to search for Twitter just to appease the president’s worsening dementia. “And I don’t want you to stop looking till you find it, or so help me I’ll take you behind the woodshed and kick your keister and then add your scalp to my collection.”
Once he realized Twitter didn’t exist, Biden said he would then focus his attention on Musk’s other two companies, Tesla and SpaceX. In response to hearing Biden’s new threat, Elon immediately changed the names of Tesla and SpaceX to “Y” and “Z.”
