U.S.– On a recent Fox News episode of Piers Morgan, former New Jersey Governor Chris Christie issued a direct challenge to Donald Trump by offering to fight the former president in a sumo wrestling match and guaranteed that he would not only win but also eat him for lunch.
The 2024 Republican presidential candidate Christie said he’s been practicing for the upcoming grudge match by wearing only a diaper and eating at buffets to gain as much weight as possible to meet his goal of weighing 750 pounds.
“Right here, right now, I’m challenging Trump to a one-on-one sumo wrestling match,” said Christie while shoving sixty-nine donuts into his mouth at once. “Trump’s a coward who’s too scared to face me in the sumo ring because he knows I’m a lot more manly than he is and I’ll use my very large, masculine physique to crush his skinny little body like a grape.”
Christie told Piers that he’s trying to hold onto as much body weight as possible for the upcoming fight against Trump, saying he recently had his anus sewn shut to keep all the food inside of him so he wouldn’t lose a pound.
“Trump will find a way to avoid fighting me because he knows this baby’s got back,” said Christie confidently, showing off his athletic 169 inch waist. “For a guy my size, I can move really quick too. Just this morning, I finished a five foot run in only nine hours. Scrawny man Trump doesn’t stand a chance against this herculean future president.”
The former governor also said that he hired heavyweight champion Lizzo to train him in the lethal art of twerking and told Piers that he plans on using his secret ass shaking weapon once he gets Trump down on the mat.
