NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK– Ahead of the Donald Trump indictment, Mayor Eric Adams gave a speech warning all would-be protesters to behave themselves and not make any trouble because New York City is the safest city in the whole United States and he would like to keep it that way.
While numerous people were murdered directly in front of him and looters burned down a local business, Mayor Adams called on all rabblerousing Trump supporters to try not to make the city look bad and ruin New York City’s current record of going thirty seconds without having a violent crime.
“I’m warning all you Trump supporters to be on your best behavior and don’t make my city look bad,” said Mayor Adams as rapid gunfire could be heard in the background. “It is my duty as mayor to keep New York City the safest city in America by keeping our already low crime rate down to only one murder every five minutes.”
Adams bragged about the Democrat-run city’s low crime statistics and said visitors should feel confident and safe that they can come to The Big Apple to enjoy many exciting activities such as rape, arson, murder, and robbery.
The mayor added that due to the extremely minimal crime in New York City he will be defunding the police even further and has also made it illegal for people to refuse a fellow citizen’s polite request to rape, rob, or murder them.
