WASHINGTON– In an effort to boost his horrible poll numbers, a worried Joe Biden has recently unveiled a brand-new look and campaign strategy, donning a blonde wig and promising Americans that if Democrats remain in power that he will do everything he can to Make Ukraine Great Again.
After studying hours of Donald Trump rallies to try and figure out why the 45th president was so popular, Biden emerged from his basement sporting a large blonde wig, red tie, and a new slogan called MUGA, which stands for Make Ukraine Great Again.
“Is there any place you’d rather be than a Biden rally?” Biden asked a group of pigeons on his front lawn. “I’m here with my beautiful First Lady Melania and everyone loves Melania. In 2024 were going to take back the White House and remove that old, senile, incompetent president who’s currently sitting in the Oval Office after rigging the election.”
While the voices inside his head chanted “Ukraine-Ukraine-Ukraine,” Biden had Vice President Kamala Harris pop up from behind the podium to hold up his new 2024 MUGA campaign poster.
“If I’m elected president in 2024 I promise I’ll make Ukraine great again,” said Biden, trying to keep his dentures in place. “I promise to ship all our jobs overseas, make America energy dependent, and tear down the border wall. And believe me, Mexico won’t be paying for it.”
Once the new numbers came in and he saw that his approval rating had dropped even further, Biden decided to alter his look once again in an effort to be more popular by shaving his head, painting his face black, and changing his wife’s name to Michelle.
