WASHINGTON– In an urgent press conference Wednesday morning, House Democrats accused President Donald Trump of hiring Hurricane Ian as a last resort to destroy any classified documents still remaining inside his Mar-a-Lago home, saying they have irrefutable proof that the impending storm is working on behalf of the MAGA Republican.
After downing a few shots of whiskey to help deliver the tragic news, Speaker Nancy Pelosi told reporters that top secret NASA photographs have confirmed that Hurricane Ian is a rightwing Trump supporter on his way to Florida to destroy any evidence that would lead to the president’s indictment.
“We now how substantial proof that Mr. Trump hired Hurricane Ian to do his dirty work,” said Pelosi as photos of Hurricane Ian wearing a MAGA hat flashed behind her. “We have in our possession photos of the hurricane wearing a Make America Great Again hat headed toward Florida to help Trump avoid prosecution.”
When asked by Fox News reporter Peter Doocy if the hurricane photo wearing the MAGA hat was photoshopped in yet another bogus attempt to take down Trump, Pelosi chugged another drink and began shaking violently.
“Good morning, Sunday morning,” said Pelosi with a large, wrinkled smile. “Hurricane Ian is a Russian asset working on behalf of Vladimir Putin in an effort to overthrow the future 2024 presidential election to get Trump reelected. We also have dozens of photos showing the hurricane giving the Nazi salute and other extremist white supremacist hand signals.”
At publishing time, a whistleblower came forward and told Republicans that Hurricane Ian was actually an FBI agent dressed in MAGA gear staging another false flag event in an effort to pin it on Trump.
