WASHINGTON– In a glorious speech celebrating American moms on Mother’s Day, President Joe Biden touched on the recent Supreme Court abortion draft controversy by saying that murdering unborn babies must remain legal or special holidays like this one will become obsolete.
“Today, I’d like to celebrate moms everywhere by defending every woman’s right to kill their offspring,” said Biden, holding up a clothes hanger in respect to all the moms who had abortions. “If this abortion thing is overturned then what are all these moms going to celebrate every Mother’s Day?”
Biden went on to say that having an abortion is as American as apple pie, baseball, and taking showers with your underage children while they cry uncontrollably due to the severe psychological damage.
“Just think, if my mother, bless her soul, hadn’t aborted me then my son Hunter would’ve been left fatherless,” explained Biden in reference to his mother aborting him. “If murdering babies was outlawed then my son would have all these little half-Chinamen running around.”
After leftwing news reporters gave him a standing ovation, Biden ended the riveting speech by punching a few pregnant women in their bellies in the same manner that the Pope places his hands on someone to bless them.
“Happy Mother’s Day, young lady,” said Biden right before pushing one of the pregnant women down the White House steps.
