WASHINGTON– Uh-oh, it looks like Sleepy Joe Biden has done it again. While sitting at his desk inside the Oval Office, Biden fell asleep and dropped his head onto the big, red nuclear button, officially destroying almost the entire world.
In the aftermath of his sleepy ordeal, Biden gave a news press conference to no one in particular since most of the world has now been obliterated.
“It looks like I might have dozed off for a few seconds,” said Biden, laughing at his small mistake. “It’s a good thing that big red button was there to break my fall or I may have banged my head against the desk.”
As he stretched in an effort to wake himself back up, Biden summoned for one of his aides to change his diaper, only to realize that none of them were around because they were already turned into ash.
“Man, I’ll tell you, the horrible help you get today,” said Biden angrily in reference to his deceased administration. “Is everyone on break again? Well, since no one’s around, maybe I have time to take a quick nap to regain my strength. It takes a lot of energy for me to wake up and then one minute later fall back to sleep.”
When confronted by the multiple personalities inside his head asking him why he blew up the entire world, Biden became enraged and blamed Donald Trump for destroying humanity and said his first order of business once he wakes up is to have Nancy Pelosi’s ghost draft up more articles of impeachment against the 45th president Trump.
The ghost of reputable and unbiased fact-checking website Snopes said that Biden blowing up the entire world was mostly false because the White House was still mostly intact as well as a few cockroaches that never seem to die. But hey, at least there’s no more mean tweets.
