WASHINGTON– Democratic presidential nominee President Joe Biden said he’s completely ready to take on his Republican opponent George Washington in the very first presidential debate of 2024 because his adversary is “a low IQ, demented, senile, lifeless man who couldn’t draft a Constitution if his life depended on it.”
During an interview on CNN, Biden claimed that defeating the former American political leader on the debate stage will be a piece of cake due to the fact that Washington has the energy of a corpse.
“Washington doesn’t know how to debate the facts, he’s dumber than a bag of bones,” Biden said as he read off the CNN teleprompter. “C’mon, man, would you rather have someone who’s like a deceased cadaver as president or would you rather have Washington, or you know the thing?”
Biden went on to say that he’s not worried about the fact that George Washington has been getting tens of thousands of people at his rallies across the United States.
“I’ve been working like the Devil by campaigning two times a month in my bid for the United States Senate,” Biden said as he completely inhaled his COVID mask. “Let’s see if that lifeless stiff Washington is able to do two virtual interviews a month and still have the stamina to eat three meals a week like I do, Jack.”
Numerous unnamed CNN political pundits claim that if right-wing radical George Washington becomes president then the world as we know it will cease to exist, and that the first president of the United States should be someone with decorum, alertness, an ethical son, and who can stay awake till at least 2 pm like Joe Biden.
