WASHINGTON– New York Senator Chuck Schumer was the latest grieving Democrat politician to share his heartbreaking story from the Capitol Building protest, telling the world during his January 6th speech that his mother’s sister’s neighbor’s son’s mailman’s mechanic’s dentist’s patient was targeted by a mob of Capitol rioters on that fateful day last year.
Schumer was in tears as he recounted the tragic events that unfolded against the person that he doesn’t even know, but who he says he has a distant yet personal connection to.
“I’ll never forget what didn’t happen to me on January 6 in that violent attack on the Capitol Building,” said Schumer as he held up an oversized sign to really stress the moment. “What didn’t happen to me, shouldn’t happen to anybody. Those nasty, racist, bigoted insurrectionists only targeted my mother’s sister’s neighbor’s son’s mailman’s mechanic’s dentist’s patient because I’m Jewish.”
He went on to state that the January 6th insurrection was the worst event in history, calling it America’s version of the Holocaust.
After punching himself, Schumer pointed at a white cameraman standing ten feet in front of him and said, “Did you see that racist, white supremacist cameraman just hit me while screaming ‘There’s the big Jew, let’s get him?’ This is the same anti-Semitic comments that those Donald Trump supporters must have probably said to my mother’s sister’s neighbor’s son’s mailman’s mechanic’s dentist’s patient on January 6th.”
The senator says he plans on doing a “democracy reform” cross-country tour with his Miss Piggy stunt double cousin Amy Schumer who plans on telling her vagina jokes to help prevent another insurrection from happening.
