WASHINGTON– Oral arguments for Joe Biden’s OSHA vaccine mandate are being heard today by the unbiased Supreme Court who promises they’re abiding by the Constitution and not by any other ulterior motives, such as filling their banks accounts or pushing the Great Reset.
All the SCOTUS justices were clad in their usual black attire, except for the three liberal members who were mysteriously wearing white lab coats with blue Pfizer badges pinned to the lapels.
After agreeing with the pro-mandate lawyers that 900 gazillion unvaccinated American citizens have already passed away due to their anti-science bigotry, the three leftwing justices gave each other a few saline shot injections for a quick vaccine photo op.
“Even though I’m a totally fair and unbiased justice, I believe the vaccine mandates are definitely written in the real version of the Constitution,” said Justice Sonia Sotomayor after some of her Big Pharma cash fell out of her coat pocket. “The Constitution is clear when it says, ‘We the people of the United States, in order to form a more perfect vaccine, establish boosters, provide for Pfizer bank accounts, and to secure vaccine mandates for ourselves, do ordain this Constitution for the United States of America.'”
Both Breyer and Kagan agreed with their wise Latina colleague Sotomayor and then asked Chief Justice Roberts if he could remove Justice Clarence Thomas from the hearings due to his biased affinity toward the outdated, original version of the Constitution.
Sonia Soto Smells Like Manure