WASHINGTON– Immediately after virtue-signaling by getting his saline booster shot on live television, Joe Biden made the announcement that he will be imposing a federal mandate to force all American women to let him sniff their hair whenever he wants.
Biden claims he has full authority under the United States Constitution to make the hair mandate official, and is giving all females until the end of October to comply or face severe punishment, including having their heads shaved by the popular president’s COVID hair police.
“I’m losing my patience with all these prudish women who won’t let me just do whatever I want with their bodies,” Biden said as he prepared to sign his 500,000th executive order. “The only way we are going to defeat the COVID pandemic is by letting me sniff as many women’s heads as I can. It’s for our own safety.”
Social distancing rules were recently banned under the Biden administration in preparation for the future hair smelling extravaganza.
Republicans in Congress have vowed to fight Biden’s intrusive Hair Sniffing Mandate, saying they’re willing to compromise by letting Biden just lightly stroke women’s hair between his two fingers.
Democrats are defending Biden’s controversial mandate by claiming there’s nowhere in the Constitution that says a president can’t sniff a woman’s hair, meaning he’s well within his rights to take executive action by invading the personal space of the nation’s female population.
In protest, millions of women across the country shaved off their tresses and have also waxed the hair on the rest of their bodies just in case Biden decides he wants to start sniffing other body parts as well.
What, he’s given up sniffing children’s hair?
Maybe his clone prefers older females.
Joe can sniff me any time and feel whatever he wants
Is that you Ashley? Must be shower time with DaddyJoe.