NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK– The Late Show host Stephen Colbert has recently picked up a part-time job working as a wacky arm-flailing inflatable tube guy to make extra cash, saying that his writers have run out of material to talk about due to President Donald Trump leaving office.
The world’s funniest comedian claims his show suffered a 3000% decrease in viewership since January 2021 after Trump disappeared, and he was left scratching his head as to what to talk about once his political white whale had left him with no more material.
“I’d really hate to see Trump get back into office again, then I’d be forced to talk about him nonstop, wink wink,” Colbert said right before clocking into his shift to start waving at a local used auto dealer. “Some people are asking me how can I work such a degrading job, but being an inflatable tube man is not nearly as embarrassing as singing ‘Vax-Scene’ along with gay men dressed up as COVID vaccine syringes.”
Before reminding everyone that he used to be hilarious, Colbert filled his body up with air and then began waving and dancing around violently as he cursed Trump for costing him his once lucrative late night host job.
Even though Colbert’s career has languished and he now has to fight alley cats for food inside trashcans, he says he’s still happy he voted for Joe Biden and will do everything he’s told to do to help get the world’s most popular president reelected.
“Our country’s finally great again now that we got the orange dictator out of office,” Colbert quipped as fifty Haitian migrants stole his clothes, wallet, and dignity.
