WASHINGTON–CNN recently reported that former Vice President Joe Biden gave an extremely massive 10 person rally yesterday, which was double the 5 people from the previous gathering and has noted that a worried President Donald Trump is already contemplating conceding the election before November.
Standing in front of a large cardboard cutout of supporters, Biden delivered one of the greatest speeches in U.S. history as he blasted the president on his last lackluster rally of only 30,000 people and called on Trump to save himself the embarrassment of defeat by simply conceding the election right now.
“Folks, this, uh, election, uh, you know the thing,” Biden said eloquently as the earth moved under his feet and the heavens opened up. “When was the last time that Trump orange guy ever had a crowd this size, man?”
According to a new CNN poll, Biden has a 100% chance of winning the election and is 666% ahead of Trump in the polls. Another CNN poll published this week had 69% of Republican mail-in ballots suddenly being counted for Biden.
An anonymous CNN source claims that at this rate Biden will have a staggering 20 people at his next campaign event, with the possibility that he may even get up to an earthshattering 40 people by the end of the month, depending on how much money Mike Bloomberg decides to pay people to show up.
“President Trump needs to concede the election right now,” Brian Stelter said on some program no one watches. “Our extremely accurate and honest polls predict a Joe Biden landslide and if Trump doesn’t end his bid for the presidency before November, he will most definitely lose after all the genuine mail-in ballots for Biden are counted after Election Day.”
Stelter went on to say that polls never lie and that a recent CNN poll has shown that CNN polls are the most accurate of all other polls.
Due to the sheer magnitude of Biden’s rallies, the Democratic nominee said that his next campaign event will be held inside of an extra large phone booth to be able to accommodate the increase in supporters.