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Reading: Build Black Better: Joe Biden Offers Free Crack To First 500 Blacks Who Vote For Him
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Home » POLITICS » Build Black Better: Joe Biden Offers Free Crack To First 500 Blacks Who Vote For Him

POLITICS

Build Black Better: Joe Biden Offers Free Crack To First 500 Blacks Who Vote For Him

Daily Soak Staff
Last updated: May 3, 2024 5:19 pm
Daily Soak Staff
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WASHINGTON– President Joe Biden returned to CBS News on Friday to force correspondent Errol Barnett to apologize to him for asking about his cognitive abilities during their intense first interview and to also promise free crack cocaine to the first 500 black people who promise to vote for him in November.

During the more relaxed second interview, the former vice president to Obama told Barnett that, unlike Donald Trump, he understands how cranky black people can get if they haven’t smoked in a while and wants the black community to know that he accepts Barnett’s apology for asking him a serious, non-softball question.

“If you don’t smoke crack, then you ain’t black,” Biden said with a smile as he held up a plastic bag full of crack rocks. “I came here today on this junkie’s program to give a little incentive to any confused black folks out there who may be thinking about leaving the Democrat plantation, I mean, party.”

Biden said his new campaign slogan ‘Build Black Better’ was a sincere effort to bring free thinking black people back to the Democrat party.

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Pressed on whether it may come off as racist to assume that all black people smoke crack, Biden scoffed at Barnett’s question and proceeded to school the interviewer on how only Republicans can hate black people because they don’t offer them any drugs for votes.

“C’mon, man, were you taking cocaine again before this interview?” Biden asked angrily, shaking his frail head. “Listen, junkie, if you people don’t vote for me then you ain’t black, or my name’s not Joe Biden’s husband.”

The incumbent Democratic candidate said that his first order of business during his second term as president will be to pump more necessary drugs into poor African American neighborhoods. Biden’s running mate Kamala Harris said her first order as president after Biden gives it up will be to extend prison times for blacks arrested with those drugs.

⚠️ This highly acclaimed article is satire.

TAGGED:2020 Presidential RaceCampaignDemocratDonald TrumpDrugJoe BidenKamala HarrisRacistRated R

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