NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK– A barely one day old baby was arrested by the NYPD this morning inside a New York City hospital after not following Mayor Bill de Blasio’s proper social distancing protocol while coming out of his mother’s womb.
Police said they tried to reason with the rambunctious baby, but were required to use force when the combative newborn refused to stay six feet away from his mother as he exited her birthing canal.
The violent altercation occurred after a courageous physician reported the lawbreaking baby to the mayor’s social distancing snitch hotline.
New York City Mayor de Blasio has made it perfectly clear that any reckless individual who is selfish enough to violate his moderate social distancing policies, regardless of age, will face severe consequences.
“Today New York City took another dangerous lunatic off the street,” de Blasio tweeted immediately after receiving word that the baby was beaten, tased, handcuffed, and arrested.
Many supporters of de Blasio’s coronavirus policies took to Twitter to praise the brave efforts of the NYPD for the way they handled the psychotic baby’s careless act of putting other people’s lives at risk.
Mayor de Blasio said that the bad baby has a history of criminal offenses, including kicking his mother’s insides, stealing food via the placenta, and loitering inside the womb.
