PYONGYANG, NORTH KOREA– North Korea said President Trump is “one crazy bastard” for his disapproval of Kim Jong-un using his own cities to perform friendly missile tests.
Immediately after destroying the city of Sinuiju in the fourth “crucial missile test” this week, North Korean officials put out a statement condemning Trump as an “erratic, crazy dotard” who is too insane to run a country for refusing to use his own civilians as targets for the betterment of the nation like Kim does every two days.
Fearing for his safety, the gentle North Korean leader has taken out a restraining order against the President of the United States and has asked him to refrain from making crazy statements such as “blowing up your own cities for crucial tests is wrong.”
Ri Yong-ho, North Korea’s foreign minister, said Kim Jong-un has the country’s missile launch buttons inside his own personal bedroom so that women can see what a true gentleman he is when he shoots peaceful rockets into neighboring North Korean towns.
The foreign minister said “crazy Trump” has put their once missile-virile leader in a state of depression, saying Kim may never be able to perform “crucial rocket tests” in front of a woman again.
“Our dear supreme leader now has performance issues,” said Yong-ho as he handed a tissue to a sobbing Kim Jong-un. “Our beloved Mr. Kim never had any problems in the bedroom when pushing the big, red missile button, but now the whole world knows of his shortcomings thanks to madman Trump.”
A few Democratic presidential candidates have sided with North Korea, saying Trump’s disapproval of Kim Jong-un using harmless test missiles on his people proves that Trump is insane, erratic, unfit to serve as president, and should be impeached immediately.
