LONDON, ENGLAND– After an extremely tense NATO meeting where the world’s top leaders clashed on which one of Justin Trudeau’s blackface impersonations was the most realistic, the heads of each country decided to take a day to unwind by visiting a popular local nude beach in Cornwall.
The leaders continued to celebrate the 70th anniversary of the transatlantic alliance with an invite-only beach party at Woody’s Nude Beach, where they discussed pressing global issues, including terrorism, arms control, China, and British Prime Minister Boris Johnson’s barely noticeable toupée.
With frantic paparazzi surrounding the beach and studly cabana boys oiling down their hairy backsides, the leaders let it all hang out by giving the world a small glimpse into a vision that most people will never be able to unsee, such as German Chancellor Angela Merkel doing the backstroke while French president Emanuel Macron searches for clams.
The beach party was a clothes optional event, with many leaders of NATO member countries such as President Donald Trump happily baring it all for the cameras.
“I bet you people have never seen a glorious body like this?” Trump asked the large crowd of onlookers as he jumped into the ocean and swam like a dolphin.
But the fun on the hot sand quickly took a turn for the worst when an inebriated Japan Prime Minister Shinzo Abe crashed the NATO member-only party and refused to leave.
After beating Trudeau in a hot oil wrestling match, Abe was permitted to stay as long as he promised to keep Merkel away from the rest of the frolicsome male leaders.
Hours later, Trudeau, Macron, and Johnson were seen huddled together with Canada’s Prime Minster mocking Trump as the president dropped his bathing suit for reporters.
The awkward moment was caught on video with a blushing Trudeau saying to Macron, “He’s going to make us all late with this 40 minute naked press conference. You just watched his bathing suit drop to the floor.”
