WASHINGTON– If the world thought the 2016 United States presidential election was wild, then wait until everyone sees what politicians have in store for 2020.
Due to Donald Trump’s unorthodox yet successful antics during his 2016 campaign, candidates from both parties got together and decided to utilize similar over-the-top entertainment strategies and each one’s hired their very own World Wrestling Entertainment writer to script their upcoming campaigns.
With the blessings of WWE’s head honcho Vince McMahon, every presidential candidate was given wrestling script writers to come up with outlandish story-lines, insulting one-liners, and backstories as to why they should be given the chance to run the most powerful country in the world.
At the advice of McMahon, every presidential candidate will settle their differences in the wrestling ring and, not only has everyone agreed, but the candidates have already begun their physical training.
During a rally in Weehawken, New Jersey yesterday, President Trump took the opportunity to call out former vice president and potential Democratic candidate Joe Biden.
“Let me tell you something, brother,” Trump screamed into the microphone as thousands of rally-goers chanted ‘USA! USA!’. “I fear no man, no beast, and certainly no guy who walks and talks like a broken robot! So whatcha gonna do, Biden, when Trumpamania runs wild on you!”
Not one to let the Trumpster get the best of him, Biden gave a brief angry monologue in the dressing room of Obama’s garage, promising that Trump should expect the unexpected come election time.
“There’s no tough guys in politics,” Biden screamed as he paced around in circles. “Trumpamania is like a little grain of sand in the Sahara desert that is Biden Madness! Ohhhhh yeahhhh!”
Look for the very first presidential wrestling match to take place sometime this summer after all the elderly presidential candidates have had enough time to limber up to be able to crawl in and out of the ring ropes.
