LIVERPOOL, ENGLAND– A Liverpool woman is being questioned by British authorities after she got caught trying to send her 11 month old baby inside a package through the local post office.
Authorities say that postal employees became suspicious when Abigail Ainsworth, 29, a part-time waitress at the Tipsy-Gypsy Pub, was heard speaking baby-talk to a large brown box while standing in line at the counter.
“I was gobsmacked [amazed],” said Nigel Davenport with a chuckle, the postal employee who discovered the cute baby inside of the package. “At first I thought Miss Ainsworth was just a tad [a little bit] plastered [drunk], but I became dodgy [suspicious] when I discovered she was no nutter [crazy person].”
When questioned by postal police, Ainsworth informed them that this was not the first time that she’s sent her cute baby boy Cromwell through the mail to save a few pounds.
“I know it seems a tad [a little bit] wonky [not right],” admitted Ainsworth as police officers giggled at the revelation. “Absobloodylutely [Sure] I love my nipper [baby]. Me and my ex-hubby [ex-husband] share visitation rights and to save time and smackers [money] we’ve been sending our baby in a parcel [package] through the mail.”
After listening to Ainsworth’s story and seeing the cute look on Cromwell’s face, police decided that it was in the best interest of the baby to let mother and son go about their merry way.
“If you don’t mind, do be careful next time,” police Chief Axton Harrington begged Miss Ainsworth. “Perhaps a pram [baby stroller] would be a tad [a little bit] safer. Blimey [my goodness], have you ever seen a more gorgeous sprog [baby]?”
