IMMOBILE, ALABAMA– An Immobile man was arrested Friday after getting stopped by police for driving the speed limit and then passing a sobriety test and has been ordered to surrender his driver’s license for 90 days and also pay a fine of $10,000.
Chevy Griswold, 54, was handed down a 120 day jail sentence this morning by Judge Hugh Assencrack, a judge known for his tough stances against non-drunk drivers as well as self-identity theft.
“The only thing worse than a non-drunk driver is a drunk driver who doesn’t drive,” Judge Assencrack told reporters as he sipped whiskey from a elephantine flask. “Even though Mr. Griswold has a clean record, I decided to make an example out of him to all would-be sober drivers out there who even think about driving through my county.”
Griswold was escorted into the courthouse by wheelchair, due to the fact that police were forced to mace, taser, club, and kick him when he didn’t resist arrest.
In court, Griswold pleaded guilty to not driving under the influence of liquor and not resisting arrest. The officers who arrested Griswold came into court and showed the judge the numerous bruises on their fists from repeatedly punching Griswold.
“At least we got another maniac off the road,” Judge Assencrack added. “After Mr. Griswold came into my courtroom acting mild-mannered and well-spoken, I knew I made the right decision when I threw the book at him.”
The judge went on record to say that Griswold has a history of moving violations, such as being a designated driver, stopping for pedestrians in crosswalks, and avoiding running over squirrels as they cross streets.
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