TREVORTON, COLORADO– According to a study done by the Feminine Animal Testing Service Organization, women who are obese have a higher chance of being fat.
Researchers at F.A.T.S.O. performed double blind experiments on 99 test subjects for a period of nine months, taking various factors into consideration such as the woman’s age, height, race, initial weight at the beginning of the experiment, and most importantly her gender.
“We wanted to get a more fluid response from the victims,” said head researcher Dr. David Banner, physician and scientist. “Our studies ultimately concluded something long surmised in the medical community that obese women do indeed have a much higher chance of being fat. This puts to rest any conjectures previously believed that thinner women were at the greatest risk of being fat.”
In the study, Banner proved that the obese women’s appearance was the main causative factor for an elevated adenine-thymine level in Dr. Banner’s DNA that gave him such enormous physical strength after metamorphosing him into a large green man in response to the angry sight.
“The intense gamma-ray bursts from periodic sunspot activity,” he went on, starting to become angry, “increased the spectrum of the women’s appearance by six times the usual amount, thus forcing me to alter my entire body chemistry and eventually travel the country helping others while searching for a cure for myself.”
After the completion of the study, Dr. Banner became enraged by the results and destroyed the entire research organization, killing everyone that was inside.
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