April 19, 2016:
Dear Diary,
This is the worst day of my life. I heard stupid Trump on Fox News making fun of me again. He’s so mean. I don’t know how much longer I can put up with this charade of a candidacy, not to mention my sham of a marriage to a guy who looks like my dad. I never knew life would turn out this way back in my college days when a girl could safely walk around town, letting her hair down from her armpits and not having some big brute like Trump laugh at you. I’ve been crying for over an hour. I’m crying as I write this, diary, and I don’t think I’ll ever stop. I’m going to win this presidency because I’m pretty and no one wants to see a decrepit old man like Bernie falling asleep on the couch while meetings with world leaders are going on.
P.S.- Don’t tell anyone about this, diary, because this is not a secure notebook.
Love, Hillary
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