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Biden And Bernie Sanders Reminisce About The Time They Were Each Cheated Out Of Race By A Cackling Woman
WASHINGTON-- Only days after the DNC performed a coup d'é·tat on him in an effort to rig Vice President Kamala Harris in as the Democrat candidate, Joe Biden called his…
Tim Walz Kisses His Brother To Prove There’s Nothing Weird About Ilhan Omar’s Brother Marriage
ST. PAUL, MINNESOTA – Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz reportedly kissed his own brother during a press…
Mark Carney Taps Newly Arrived Immigrant To Oversee Preservation Of Canadian Identity
OTTAWA, CANADA — Prime Minister Mark Carney announced Tuesday that newly arrived Indian immigrant Gurpreet…
Lab Mice Replaced After Imported Foreign Mice Work For Less Cheese
BOSTON, MASSACHUSETTS — A team of biomedical researchers announced Thursday that it had replaced dozens…
FBI Scours Police Blotters For Crimes It Can Pretend It Solved
WASHINGTON — In a bold bid to maintain the illusion of relevance, the FBI has…
Macron Threatens To Punish Rioters By Making Them Remain In France
PARIS, FRANCE — French President Emmanuel Macron issued a stern warning to the violent rioters…
Pfizer Says Reports Of Side Effects Distract From Vaccine’s Positive Impact On Profits
NEW YORK — Pfizer executives expressed frustration that persistent reports of COVID vaccine side effects…