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AOC Livestreams Herself Beginning Egg-Freezing Process By Swallowing Three Bags Of Ice Cubes
WASHINGTON — Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (AOC) took to Instagram Live this weekend to kick off her biological egg-freezing process several months ahead of schedule by swallowing three entire five-pound bags…
Mark Carney Caves On Tariffs After Trump Threatens To Return Ted Cruz To Canada
OTTAWA, CANADA — Prime Minister Mark Carney abruptly caved on Canada's retaliatory tariffs against the…
Texas Longhorn Forced To Sell Itself On Street Corner After Losing Job To Cheaper Foreign Cattle
FORT WORTH, TEXAS — A Texas Longhorn who spent years preparing for a respectable career in…
Lindsay Clancy Supporters Erect 40-Foot Bronze Altar To Moloch Outside Courthouse
PLYMOUTH, MASSACHUSETTS — The plaza outside the Plymouth County Courthouse took on a distinctively ancient, yet deeply…
Harry And Meghan Demand Privacy During Nationwide Publicity Tour To Announce Their Return To Britain
LONDON, UK — In a desperate bid to finally be left alone, Prince Harry and…
Kash Patel Lures Eric Swalwell Out Of Hiding By Dressing As Chinese Prostitute
SAN FRANCISCO, CALIFORNIA — After weeks of struggling to locate former Rep. Eric Swalwell, FBI…
North Korea Fears Trump’s Compliments Have Ruined Its Terrifying Dictatorship Reputation
PYONGYANG, NORTH KOREA — North Korean officials expressed growing concern Tuesday that President Donald Trump’s…