‘East Palestine, Ohio Water Is Fine,’ Says EPA Worker Before Growing Third Arm Out Of Back
EAST PALESTINE, OHIO-- The Environmental Protection Agency was on the scene of the disastrous chemical spill in Ohio only days after the deadly event, and to prove that everything was…
MSNBC: ‘Trump Responsible For The Black Plague Of The 1300s’
NEW YORK, NEW YORK-- Reliable news source MSNBC has just released some startling new evidence which proves that President Donald Trump was personally responsible for the Black Plague of the…
Biden Promises To Help Victims Of Ohio Chemical Spill By Sending $100 Billion To Ukraine
WASHINGTON-- Days after the horrific aftermath of the deadly spill of vinyl chloride in Ohio, President Joe Biden reassured the small town's worried citizens that he has their best interests…
Mysterious UFO Balloon Dies Suddenly After Canada’s Trudeau Has It Vaccinated
OTTAWA, CANADA-- Media outlets are reporting the sad news out of Canada this morning that the latest UFO balloon has died suddenly after Prime Minister Justin Trudeau forced the unidentified…
NFL Achieves Complete Diversity After Every Player Is Now Black
NEW YORK, NEW YORK-- The progressive world is cheering after the NFL made a sensational announcement in that after decades of trying to be as inclusive as possible they have…
Biden Accidentally Puts His Human Skin Suit On Backwards Before Leaving White House
WASHINGTON-- News media outlets have been buzzing about the latest Joe Biden gaffe after the lizard person president mistakenly wore his human skin backwards, drawing immense criticism from conservative pundits…
Space Aliens Voted Madonna Sexiest Human On Earth
OLEXA PRIME-- Famous entertainer Madonna has been named the sexiest human alive by almost one hundred percent of the grey aliens polled, according to the latest addition of intergalactic magazine…
Biden’s State of The Union Address Was So Bad He Ripped Up His Own Speech
WASHINGTON-- In what will go down as one of the worst speeches in political history, Joe Biden was so disgusted with his own State of the Union address that he…
State Of The Union Cancelled After Biden’s Body Double Calls Out Sick
WASHINGTON-- The White House has just confirmed that tonight's State of the Union address has been cancelled due to Joe Biden's body double calling out sick for work, leaving the…
California Man Arrested For Not Shoplifting
SAN FRANCISCO, CALIFORNIA-- A local man was arrested Monday after a store owner called the police when the honest shopper refused to steal any items, and is now facing a…
Ron DeSantis Puzzled Why Anyone Thinks He’s Copying Trump’s Style
TALLAHASSEE, FLORIDA-- After receiving flack from numerous people accusing him of copying Donald Trump's style, Florida Governor Ron DeSantis has denied the rumors that he's mimicking the president as a…
Democrats Give Chinese Spy Balloon Free Money And Benefits After It Crosses Border
WASHINGTON-- Immediately after the mysterious Chinese spy balloon illegally crossed the northern border into the United States, Democrat politicians began the process of giving the China-created Dreamer free cash, health…
