Canada’s Justin Trudeau Elected New Prime Minister Of Haiti
PORT-AU-PRINCE, HAITI-- Amid the mass amount of riots and chaos happening currently in Haiti, the island's Prime Minister Ariel Henry has resigned from his leadership position and it has already…
Boeing Hires Priests To Read Passengers Their Last Rites Before Boarding Planes
U.S.-- Due to the numerous malfunctions and accidents involving Boeing planes recently, longtime aircraft company Boeing announced they have now hired thousands of priests to stand near the airport gates…
Elon Musk Selling Ad Space On SpaceX Rocket
BOCA CHICA, TEXAS-- In celebration of the successful launch of a rocket test flight into space, Twitter X owner Elon Musk announced that he will now be selling ad space…
White House Claims Biden Told His Ghostwriter Classified Information Only Because He Thought He Was Talking To A Real Ghost
WASHINGTON-- With the House Republican investigation into Joe Biden's mishandling of classified information heating up, White House officials were quick to point out that, yes Biden told his ghostwriter things…
FDNY Commissioner Punishes New York Firefighters By Making Them Stay In New York
NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK-- After New York firefighters booed Attorney General Letitia James during a ceremony, FDNY Commissioner Laura Kavanagh promised to punish all the staffers responsible by forcing…
John Cena Gets Neutered Live On Stage At The Oscars
HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA-- The Oscars awards show was a big hit last night and the highlight of the evening was WWE wrestler and current actor John Cena walking out onto the…
Jimmy Kimmel Promises He’ll Try Not To Talk About Trump Too Much At Tonight’s Oscars
HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA-- Late-night talk show host Jimmy Kimmel announced Sunday morning that he was all ready for tonight's Oscars award program and made a solemn promise to everyone that he…
New York Times: ‘People Who Meme Politicians Should Be Investigated,’ Says Newspaper That Made Political Cartoons For Decades
NEW YORK, NEW YORK-- A recent article from one of America's oldest newspapers The New York Times has called for people who post mean memes of politicians online to be…
After Tyson Match, Jake Paul To Fight 94-Year-Old 1940s Boxer Barney Stewart
LAS VEGAS, NEVADA-- Already planning his next boxing match after fighting 57-year-old Mike Tyson, YouTuber turned boxer Jake Paul, 27, was proud to announce that his next opponent in the…
Mark Zuckerberg Checks Twitter X To See Why Facebook And Instagram Are Down
MENLO PARK, CALIFORNIA-- Millions of people around the world were in a panic this morning after Meta platforms Facebook and Instagram went down, including CEO Mark Zuckerberg who was forced…
After Winning Washington DC, Nikki Haley Says She’s One Step Closer To Being Able To Start World War 3
WASHINGTON-- After winning Washington, DC in the Republican primary, presidential candidate Nikki Haley gave a celebratory speech in front of a massive crowd of five people and said that she…
FBI Arrests Squirrel That Wandered Haplessly Near Capitol Building On January 6
WASHINGTON-- Brave FBI agents are being heralded as heroes for arresting a squirrel that happened to be running near the Capitol Building on January 6 and have charged the racist…
