Democrat Judge Dismisses Alec Baldwin’s Case After He Promises To Only Shoot Trump Supporters Next Time
SANTA FE, NEW MEXICO-- A Democrat New Mexico judge has dismissed the involuntary manslaughter case against Alec Baldwin after the famous Hollywood actor promised the court that the next time…
War Over After Biden Recognizes Putin As Legitimate President Of Ukraine
WASHINGTON-- During a speech at yesterday's NATO Summit, Joe Biden tried proving to the world that he's totally competent to stay on as president by telling the shocked crowd of…
Nancy Pelosi Drops Support For Biden After Finally Sobering Up From 52-Year-Long Binge
WASHINGTON-- Former Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi had a sobering moment after finally coming off of a 52-year-long alcoholic binge and realized that Joe Biden was not the best…
Biden Drops Out Of Race After Democrats Offer Him Extra Scoop Of Ice Cream
WASHINGTON-- After a back and forth negotiation between Joe Biden and members of his own party, the senile president finally agreed to drop out of the presidential race when Democrats…
Bed Placed On Stage So Biden Can Take Naps Between NATO Member Speeches
WASHINGTON-- The 2024 NATO Summit in Washington is underway and to be able to accommodate the senile, old Joe Biden a bed has been placed directly on stage so that…
Massive Fourth Of July Fireworks Display In Chicago This Weekend…No Wait, Nevermind, It Was Only 100 Plus Shootings
CHICAGO, ILLINOIS-- News outlets were originally reporting that there was a beautiful, impressive Fourth of July fireworks display in Chicago over the weekend, only to find out later that it…
UK Labour Party’s Keir Starmer Wins In Landslide After Promising To Increase Tea Time By 15 Minutes
LONDON, ENGLAND-- Millions of British citizens flooded their local election offices and voted in the leader of the Labour Party Keir Starmer after the center-left politician promised to make a…
Democrats To Replace Biden In Race With White House Teleprompter
WASHINGTON-- After going back and forth on whether they should replace Joe Biden with another candidate to give them a better chance at beating Republican Donald Trump, the Democrat party…
Dad Tells Kids Maybe Next Fourth Of July When Trump’s President They Can Afford More Than One Hot Dog Each
BAKERSFIELD, CALIFORNIA-- A local Dad named Biff McSquiggin had the unfortunate job to tell his disappointed children that due to the Biden economy the entire family would only get one…
Biden Promises When He’s Reelected He’ll Hold Current President Accountable For High Grocery Prices
WASHINGTON-- As Americans get ready to celebrate Independence Day and wonder how they'll pay for the extremely high grocery prices caused by Biden, an incensed President Joe Biden told potential…
3 Jill Biden Vogue Covers That Didn’t Make The Final Cut
U.S.-- First Lady Jill Biden has graced this month's cover of Vogue magazine wearing an all-white tuxedo dress, but there were three other covers that were considered but eventually didn't…
In Honor Of Canada Day, Justin Trudeau Performs 21-Horse Trampling Salute
OTTAWA, CANADA-- In celebration of Canada Day, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau gave a televised speech where he had twenty-one of his finest Mounted Police trample over innocent Canadian citizens and…
