Mark Carney Secures Historic Foreign Investment After Modi Agrees To Send Millions More Indians Into Canada
NEW DELHI, INDIA — During his recent trip to India, Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney triumphantly announced a landmark foreign investment after negotiating a deal with the Indian government to…
US Government Apologizes For Accidentally Releasing Iran False Flag Two Weeks Before It Happens
WASHINGTON— The State Department issued a rare formal apology today after a "scheduling error" on a government server led to the premature public release of a comprehensive media kit for…
Iran Leaves One-Star Alibaba Review After China-Made Air Defense System Fails After One Use
TEHRAN, IRAN — Relations between the Islamic Republic and China have reached a critical phase this morning after Iran reportedly left a one-star review on Alibaba after its newly purchased…
Smiling Face Of John McCain Spotted Forming In Smoke Cloud Over Iran
TEHRAN, IRAN — Residents and satellite images alike reported Saturday that a massive smoke plume rising from U.S. airstrikes in Iran appeared to briefly arrange itself into the unmistakable smiling…
Republicans Demand Trump Stop Implementing GOP Platform So They Can Keep Fundraising Off Pretending To Support It
WASHINGTON—In an emergency closed-door meeting Friday, a coalition of concerned Senate Republicans urged President Donald Trump to immediately halt all implementation of the official 2024 GOP platform, warning that his…
Embarrassed Somali Pirates Distance Themselves From Ilhan Omar
MOGADISHU, SOMALIA—In a rare press release from the high seas, a coalition of Somali pirates announced Wednesday that they are formally distancing themselves from Minnesota Rep. Ilhan Omar following her…
Democrats Claim Playing Trump’s State Of The Union Backwards Reveals Secret Russian Directives
WASHINGTON— Calling it the most chilling and undeniable piece of evidence discovered to date, top Democrat lawmakers convened an emergency press conference Wednesday morning to announce that playing President Trump’s…
Kamala Harris Holds Her Own State Of The Union To Liquor Cabinet Members Jack Daniel’s, Jim Beam, And Jose Cuervo
WASHINGTON—Refusing to let a crushing electoral defeat silence her voice, former Vice President Kamala Harris delivered her own State of the Union address Tuesday night from the comfort of her…
Trump Kicks Off State Of The Union By Waterboarding CNN Reporter
WASHINGTON—President Donald Trump opened his 2026 State of the Union address Tuesday night with a live demonstration of enhanced interrogation techniques, directing a U.S. Marine to waterboard a CNN reporter…
Nancy Pelosi Spotted Ripping Papers In Capitol Gym For Final Trump State Of The Union Showdown
WASHINGTON — Former House Speaker Nancy Pelosi was reportedly spotted this week at a private Capitol Hill gym with hands the size of catcher's mitts, where she spends hours each…
Team USA Hockey Players Try To Figure Out Who Invited The Taxi Driver Into Locker Room
MILAN, ITALY– Following their gold medal victory at the Winter Olympics, members of the U.S. men's hockey team expressed confusion over the presence of an uninvited taxi driver who wandered…
Canadian Government Holds Emergency Meeting To Figure Out How To Blame Trump For Hockey Loss
OTTAWA, CANADA — In what Canadian officials described as a national narrative emergency, Prime Minister Mark Carney convened an urgent overnight meeting Sunday to determine precisely how President Donald Trump…
