WASHINGTON– In an attempt to boost the productivity of his top law officer, President Donald Trump ordered the relocation of Attorney General Pam Bondi’s entire desk to the Fox News studios in New York City where she spends most of her time. The unprecedented decision comes after mounting frustration from Trump and GOP voters over Bondi’s glaring lack of action against Democratic corruption, criminals, or just about anything.
Sources close to the White House revealed that Trump had grown tired of Bondi’s constant excuses about “files on her desk” preventing her from arresting Democrat criminals, investigating election fraud, or pursuing any meaningful legal action. “Since Bondi refuses to go to her desk, the President decided to bring the desk to Bondi,” said White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt. “If she wants to spend all her time on TV, let her do it with her ‘vital documents’ right next to the teleprompter.”
For months, both President Trump and his fervent base have grown increasingly agitated by what they perceive as a complete lack of prosecutorial action from Attorney General Bondi who spends an estimated 97% of her work week giving Fox News interviews rather than going after criminals. Bondi has become a ubiquitous presence on cable news, offering fiery commentary on the very crimes she is ostensibly supposed to be prosecuting.
When asked for comment, Bondi said perhaps now she’ll be able to find those missing files and other important documents, saying, “Don’t worry, I’ll get right on that during one of my upcoming commercial breaks in between getting my hair and nails done.”
As of press time, Bondi has been spending more time on conservative news outlet Newsmax, promising that some day she’ll find time to get back to Fox News and find those files located somewhere on her desk.
