BERLIN, GERMANY– Immediately following yet another vicious car attack, German authorities were quick to put out a statement regarding the incident by condemning the violent terrorist attacker for having the audacity to not use his car horn before ramming his vehicle into a large crowd and killing 669 innocent people.
After calling a press conference to address the attack, German Chancellor Friedrich Merz criticized the Syrian immigrant who used his car to ram a crowd of protesters who were calling on the government to import even more foreigners, saying it’s a polite custom in Germany to use your horn before running over someone.
“This is a terrible tragedy that never should have happened like this,” said Chancellor Merz in German as he tried to remain stoic. “How dare this Syrian immigrant that came into our country illegally ram his car into a crowd of native Germans without first blowing his horn to let everyone know that they were about to be slaughtered. Very rude of him I might add.”
Critics of the chancellor claim that using a vehicle horn in Germany is only for emergency situations, saying that the latest terrorist car ramming doesn’t technically count as an emergency.
Due to the seriousness of not using his horn before the attack, the terrorist was given a strict punishment of having some of his free benefits lowered for two weeks.
