NEW YORK, NEW YORK– As though it were done in the middle of the night while everyone was sleeping, pharmaceutical giant Pfizer quietly updated the COVID vaccine warning on all of their formulas to just a yellow label with a skull and crossbones symbol on it.
After millions of people had already taken the COVID vaccine, Pfizer suddenly decided to replace the original label on their products that stated the drug was safe and effective to a symbol that signifies death and danger.
A Pfizer representative said that just because they decided to put a death symbol on their warning labels it doesn’t mean that all of the conspiracy theorists were correct all along.
“We have updated the warning labels on all of our COVID vaccines,” whispered the Pfizer representative in his office, hoping no one would hear him. “We have simplified the warning label to just a picture of a skull and crossbones symbol. Now, I’m not saying that the vaccine kills you, but yeah, it definitely kills you.”
According to the representative, the thousands of deaths from the COVID shot didn’t have any bearing on their decision to put the death symbol on all of the vials. “Uh, yeah, that’s also just a total coincidence.”
