KIEV, UKRAINE– During a trip to the Ukraine in an effort to prolong the war with Russia, world leaders Keir Starmer, Emmanuel Macron, and Friedrich Merz took a break from their globalist agenda to have a good ole fashioned cocaine party, drawing the ire of President Zelensky who was offended that he wasn’t even invited.
Zelensky found out about the snub after watching nosy news cameras catch the three world leaders of the UK, France, and Germany sitting down at a table inside of a train but forgetting to hide their coke paraphernalia.
“Those sons of bitches are having a coke party without me,” said Zelensky angrily before throwing his $50,000 gold watch at the television. “I invite those three bastards to the Ukraine to give me more money and then they have the nerve not to even invite me to their cocaine party. What kind of selfish world have we become where leaders won’t even share their white powder with their gracious Ukrainian host?”
The Ukrainian leader decided to have his own little party without the three leaders by calling up his old pal Hunter Biden to stop by a little later.
When confronted about why they hadn’t invited Zelensky to their “Friskie Powder Festival,” UK Prime Minister Keir Starmer immediately denied any allegations that the three world leaders were partaking in drugs and then promised that it was perfectly normal for government leaders to have a little white bag, a small spoon, and white power all over their faces while acting like raving lunatics.