OTTAWA, CANADA– Newly elected Liberal Party Prime Minister Mark Carney has already laid out his agenda for his first days in office, promising as his first order of business to replace hockey with cricket as Canada’s national sport due to the overwhelming population of Indians taking over the country.
During his acceptance speech where he made the announcement that he was replacing hockey, PM Mark Carney spoke about the massive increase of Indian immigrants into Canada over the last ten years and also his goal to eventually have the entire Canadian population replaced with Indian foreigners.
“The, um, native Canadian population is being replaced by foreigners and that’s a good thing,” said Mark Carney, wearing a bindi. “I’m happy to announce that, uh, in a few short years the, um, Indian population here in Canada will be over fifty percent. And to keep up with these necessary changes, my first order of business, um, will be to replace our old, racist hockey with cricket as Canada’s national sport. Namaste.”
Carney noted that cricket is the most popular sport in India, and that he also plans on making several other drastic changes to the Great White North country by renaming it to the Great Brown North country.
“The Great ‘White’ North country?” Carney asked with disgust. “Come on. Uh, doesn’t that sound kind of racist?”
Other changes Carney stated he would be making within the year would be to rename the capital city of Ottawa to Newer Delhi, and building toilet systems directly into the ground for those foreigners who still insist on relieving themselves outside instead of in a bathroom.
