WASHINGTON– Only moments after getting into a heated disagreement with President Donald Trump, Ukraine President Volodymyr Zelensky was spotted rummaging through the White House in search of Hunter Biden’s infamous lost bag of cocaine.
Zelensky was visibly distraught and twitching uncontrollably as he went around lifting up couch cushions, peeking into closets, and opening cabinets inside of the Oval Office bathroom.
“Where the hell is it?” Zelensky muttered to himself, trying to hide from Secret Service agents. “I haven’t had a hit for quite some time, and that stupid Trump guy is refusing to give me billions of US taxpayer dollars like Joe Biden did so I can purchase my goods. I know Hunter must’ve left that bag around here somewhere.”
The whole world watched the Ukrainian president during his argument with Trump and JD Vance as he fidgeted in his chair, blinked his eyes incessantly, and rubbed his nose hundreds of times.
Zelensky was finally apprehended by Secret Service after he broke into Trump’s Diet Coke soda cabinet due to it having the words “Trump’s Coke” written on the outside of it.
