MILWAUKEE, WISCONSIN– At the Republican National Convention, Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump told millions of people around the country that he will defeat Alzheimer’s by November when he beats President Joe Biden in the upcoming election.
“Once I defeat Biden this November I will have conquered Alzheimer’s,” said Trump to a roaring crowd as everyone stood up and applauded. “Alzheimer’s is a terrible disease, the worst. In fact, he’s probably the worst president we’ve ever had. I promise this November I will end the Alzheimer’s epidemic in this country once and for all.”
A large screen behind Trump flashed various videos of Biden stumbling, falling, slurring words, and forgetting names and places as he turned his head skittishly toward the right.
“I wasn’t sure which way to turn my head,” said Trump jokingly in reference to the way he turned toward the right during last week’s attempted assassination. “Millions of people around the country are suffering from this dreaded Alzheimer’s ruining our country, also known as senility, dementia, or Sleepy Joe. Unlike his wife Jill, I’ll do the right thing and make sure Biden retires this November.”
Trump also bragged about how he has already defeated both obesity and insanity by destroying former Republican presidential nominees Chris Christy and Nikki Haley.
