WASHINGTON– After going through a brutal, hours-long testimony before Congress in regards to his role in the COVID pandemic scam, Dr. Fauci quickly left the Congressional building and headed back home to relax a little bit and take some of the stress off by torturing a few innocent, little puppies.
While inside of his own homemade house of horrors, Dr. Fauci prepared to melt the stress away by getting a few of his canine victims ready for their inevitable demise.
“Oh boy, I could really use a pick me up after those lunatics in Congress tried to hold me accountable,” said Fauci as he sharpened a long blade. “Who do they think they are to question Mr. Science himself just because I may have been the impetus for millions of deaths? Oh well, time to relax a little bit. Nothing makes a person feel better than hearing the yelps of mutts crying out in pain.”
Fauci whistled as he walked next door to kidnap his neighbor’s dog before bringing it back down into his dark dungeon where he was planning on letting flies eat its face off in the same way he did during the infamous beagle puppy experiments.
“Dogs are starting to get harder to find nowadays,” said Fauci, putting on a bloody lab coat. “Maybe I should start branching out to other animals as a way to alleviate my stress. There are quite a few cats running around my neighborhood.”