BEIJING, CHINA– As news spread of the passing of the Antisemitism Awareness Act by Congress that attempts to ban free speech, many world dictators congratulated the US politicians on their totalitarian policies, including China’s Communist President Xi Jinping who was said to be very impressed with the latest bill.
According to sources, the Chinese president has been critical of the US government recently for not being proactive enough in stripping Americans of their freedoms, but said the passing of this new anti-free speech bill is a step in the right direction.
“Good, good,” said President Xi in his best Emperor Palpatine voice. “I’ve been a little disappointed in the American politicians for slow-walking their attempts at striping freedoms away from their American citizens, but I think this is quite impressive how quickly they put together this antisemitism bill that will be used later on to take even more people’s freedoms and rights away in the same way the Patriot Act did after 911.”
Xi explained that China prides itself on their totalitarian practices and is always looking for new ways to oppress their people. He also congratulated Congress’ banning of certain parts of the Bible, citing how China has already banned the Bible.
“Keep up the good work, guys,” said Xi to the US Congress by way of Google translator. “I also think it’s kind of ingenious how you have a few of your politicians pretend to vote against the bill to trick Americans into believing that some US politicians are the good guys, even though you’re all on the same team. Bravo.”
Motivated by President Xi’s kind words, House members in Congress drafted up another bill called the Anti-First Amendment Awareness Act to just do away with freedom of speech altogether.
