LAS VEGAS, NEVADA– Prostate cancer has been found not guilty of killing former football player and actor O.J. Simpson by a jury of its peers.
The family of O.J. Simpson had originally accused prostate cancer of murdering the Naked Gun actor, which prompted the cancer to flee and then lead police on a wild chase throughout Nevada until it was eventually apprehended and stood trial.
“We the jury find the defendant Prostate Cancer not guilty of the death of O.J. Simpson,” said jury foreperson Lung Cancer as Prostate Cancer began celebrating. “Innocent in violation of cancer diagnosis 69, a felony against O.J. Simpson. These are our unanimous verdicts.”
Numerous humans voiced their anger at Prostate Cancer being found innocent and claimed that it wasn’t fair because all twelve jurors on the murder trial were also cancers.
After hearing its “not guilty” verdict, Prostate Cancer began cheering and dancing in the courtroom to celebrate being cleared of Simpson’s death. Prostate Cancer told news reporters afterwards that it was definitely innocent and was planning on writing a book titled If I Did It to say how it would have killed O.J. if it really wanted to, but stressed again that it was completely innocent.
