WASHINGTON– In an effort to try and attract younger voters for his struggling reelection campaign, Joe Biden will be releasing an 8-track album with a dozen 1970s song remakes sung by the president himself.
The Biden camp put out a statement saying they were concerned that the majority of the president’s voting base was over 90-years-old and that he needed to do something hip and fresh to win over the much younger crowd of 70 and 80-year olds.
“The president understands that he needs to adapt to appeal to the younger generation,” said Biden’s campaign manager Bobag Boogerworth to CNN. “Our sources informed us that 8-track tapes are making a comeback and President Biden wanted to get in on the latest trend before the Trump campaign starts doing it.”
Some of the hit songs that will be included on the Joe’s Groovy 8-track tape include: Sniff You All Over, Play That Funky Music Black Boy, Don’t It Make My White Diaper Brown, Can’t Speak Without You (Teleprompter), and One Less Reporter To Answer.
“I hear all the young cool cats are using these hip record player things nowadays,” said Biden in reference to 1970s 8-track tapes. “Word’s already getting out how popular and groovy I am, Jack, because just this morning some really young, gorgeous 84-year-old foxy lady told me she can’t wait to go out and vote for me as prime minister of Canada.”
Look for the Joe’s Groovy 1970s remakes 8-track album to be sold inside nursing homes, cemeteries, and morgues and will retail for only $699.00 due to rising inflation thanks to the current president.
