COUNCIL BLUFFS, IOWA– After a campaign stop in Iowa, Donald Trump visited a local Dairy Queen and handed out free Blizzards to the large crowd of people, which surprisingly also consisted of Joe Biden who was not only ecstatic to get free ice cream but also said he’s now throwing his full support behind Trump.
White House sources said Biden was driving through Iowa when he spotted the large crowd of young people gathered around the ice cream shop and then decided to make a pit stop for his favorite dessert and to perhaps get in a few cheap thrills.
“Joe, what are you doing here? Spying on my campaign again?” Trump asked after feeling Biden’s nose pressed up against the back of his head. “Here’s some free ice cream paid for by your favorite president. Now don’t forget to vote for me in 2024 so we can remove that senile, corrupt old fool who’s currently sitting in the White House.”
A giddy Biden shoved his nose into the cold Blizzard and then told the crowd that any candidate who gives him free ice cream has his vote for president.
“Wow, thanks man, free ice cream, this sure is swell,” said Biden with ice cream all over his frail, wrinkled lips. “I was kind of undecided before today who I was going to vote for, but now I’m definitely voting for this big orange guy who gave me free ice cream.”
With a “Trump 2024” pin on his jacket lapel, Biden gave a riveting speech during a four person rally telling everyone to vote for Trump because he’ll get you the tasty, good stuff.
At publishing time, the DOJ decided to press charges against Trump for trying to buy people’s votes with free ice cream. Trump faces 900 years in prison for the heinous crime, while Biden said he’ll still be voting for Trump because he likes ice cream.
