WASHINGTON– In honor of Malaria Pride Month, Joe Biden invited thousands of malaria-carrying mosquitoes to the White House in a celebration aimed at showing the infected insects that he has their back and supports them in their endeavor to bite and kill as many people as possible.
As numerous mischievous mosquitoes exposed themselves on the White House lawn and pounded each other with their probing proboscises, Biden welcomed the discriminated insects and told them that he plans to get legislature passed that will better allow mosquitoes to freely infect as many people as possible.
“Today I want to send a message to the marginalized mosquito community,” said Biden while sniffing a mosquito’s antenna. “You are loved. You are heard. You’re understood. You belong here. And you have the God-given right to spread your malaria to as many children as possible.”
Malaria Pride Month is being celebrated this year as cases of the deadly malaria disease have been spreading in states like Florida and Texas thanks to Malaria Pride advocate Bill Gates.
“Bigoted Republican governors have been trying to take away your rights,” said Biden disappointedly. “That’s why I plan on signing an executive order making malaria-affirming care a right for mosquito youths and those insects that identify as mosquitoes.”
Various mainstream media outlets have praised Biden’s efforts to get more malaria out to the public and also celebrated the rising numbers of malaria cases in the United States.