DUBLIN, IRELAND– While on a visit with his father Joe Biden to Ireland to uncover their Irish ancestry, Hunter Biden struck it rich by accidentally stumbling upon the pot of gold owned by the famous Leprechaun and then immediately went out and blew all the money on crack and hookers.
“Yeah, man, this gold was just lying on the ground near this wild looking rainbow,” said Hunter to a few working girls, using a gold coin to smash his crack rock. “My first thought was, ‘Am I high right now,’ then my second thought was ‘If not, then I could really use all this gold to get high right now.'”
Hunter said that he wanted to do the responsible thing with all the millions of dollars worth of gold by doing hardcore drugs and having sex with dirty women, saying that investing all that gold in the markets right now or putting it in the bank is too risky being that his dad President Biden is a horrible president who’s destroying the country.
“At least now I’m getting some enjoyment out of this gold,” said Hunter while uploading all the crack photos to his laptop before dropping it off at a local computer repair shop. “I wouldn’t advise you girls to put your money into our country either as long as my dad’s president. Oh, that reminds me, wasn’t I supposed to save ten percent for the big guy? Oh well.”
At publishing time, the Leprechaun who had his gold stolen decided to become another whistleblower against the Bidens and is set to do an exclusive one-on-one interview with Fox News host Tucker Carlson later this week.
