SAN JUAN, PUERTO RICO– A man living in Puerto Rico has become an internet sensation for his ability to use telekinetic powers to blow up people’s heads. Fans around the world are calling him “The Scanner” in reference to the 1981 movie Scanners.
Jose Hernandez, 34, first learned about his innate deadly skill in the third grade when he blew up his rude English teacher’s head with only his thoughts.
“She made me very angry,” Hernandez said in Spanish during an interview that was posted to his YouTube channel. “My teacher kept telling me that everyone in Puerto Rico will be speaking English someday and that I better learn it if I’m going to adapt to the new society. That’s when I started wishing that her head would explode and then it actually did.”
Every week, Hernandez posts a new video to YouTube where a willing person lets Jose use his mind to kill them.
“This’s gonna be so awesome,” said Chris Owens, an American from California who flew down to Hernandez’s home to have his head explode. “I’ve been watching “The Scanner” for two years on YouTube and I finally got the opportunity to be his next victim. Once he blows up my head and kills me it’ll be the coolest thing that I’ve ever done.”
Hernandez has become so famous due to his scanning skills that Hollywood producers took notice and have asked him to star in a remake of the original Scanners movie.
“I guess I’ll have the last laugh now,” Hernandez said as he held up the letter Hollywood producers sent to him. “If only I could tell my dead English teacher how she was wrong and that learning to speak English would have actually hurt my career. Didn’t she ever hear of subtitles?”
Look for Jose “The Scanner” Hernandez to star in the Scanners movie remake where all the scenes will show actual head explosions, not simulated Hollywood effects.
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