WASHINGTON– Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez says the release of the new January 6 footage has been bringing her haunting memories of that horrific day where she claims she died ten times and now has to relive each death all over again thanks to the big meanie Mike Johnson.
AOC was in tears as she recounted all the times she died at the Capitol Building insurrection, wrestling with the uncertainty of how many times she would actually get killed that fateful day.
“Even though I died ten times on January 6th, I’m here to tell the world my story,” said AOC while crying in front of a picture of herself from before she died. “House Speaker Mike Johnson should be ashamed of himself for disrespecting all ten of my deceased AOC’s by airing this new footage.”
There wasn’t a dry eye in the building as news reporters wept over the multiple deaths of the Democrat politician from New York, with CNN and MSNBC each devoting a three hourlong special celebrating the ten lives of AOC that were lost in the riot caused by President Donald Trump.
“Even kitty cats only have to die nine times,” said AOC, showing photos of the flowers she left at her gravesites. “Republicans clearly edited these new January 6 videos in an effort to remove all the times I died and then added me into the videos to make it look like I was alive and never got killed. Shameful.”
After the press conference, AOC said the stress of the video footage release caused her to die five more times.
