NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK– The Fox News channel has promised to cut way back on giving Donald Trump airtime after embittered owner Rupert Murdoch blasted the hosts for speaking about the president too much, with everyone now saying that they will constantly talk about how they won’t be talking about the billionaire real estate businessman.
“That’s it, folks, you won’t be hearing me say anything else about former President Trump,” said Fox News host Bret Baier as images of Trump flashed on a screen behind him. “I received word from our owner that we gave Mr. Trump too much airtime and that we need to cut way back, so you won’t be hearing me say ‘Trump’ anymore. Trump, Trump, Trump. Just making sure my viewers heard me.”
After spending the next hour of his program talking about not talking about Trump, the show segued into Jess Watters Primetime with an opening monologue about how he isn’t interested in talking about Trump anymore because there’s so many more important issues to discuss.
“I’m so over Donald J. Trump that I won’t even miss saying his name Trump,” said Watters while Rupert Murdoch scowled at him from behind the camera. “Trump is yesterday’s news, so I’m going to not say anything more about Trump or give him another minute of our show’s time. Yes, I’m referring to Trump.”
In addition to constantly talking about not talking about Trump, all the Fox News hosts were told to don blonde wigs and dye their skin orange as a way to show their audience that they’re definitely moving on from President Trump.
